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Worst of the Week: Charlie Sheen in hot pants

Hello! And welcome to our Friday column, Worst of the Week. There’s a lot of nutty stuff that goes on in this industry, so this column is a chance for us at RCRWireless.com to rant and rave about whatever rubs us the wrong way. We hope you enjoy it!
And without further ado:
So, yet another boring week in the wireless space. When is this industry going to learn that in order to keep consumer interest in what they are trying to peddle, they need to occasionally announce something that might get some attention? Sad really.
Let’s take this past week for example. For those of you not in on the “Secret-Handshake Club” there was a “deal” announced last weekend that called for the nation’s second-largest wireless operator to purchase the nation’s fourth-largest wireless operator for the meager sum of $39 billion. Now, if this was 2007 or something that sum of money might have actually garnered some attention. But, here in 2011, $39 billion as we all know is sort of chump change. Aren’t there companies offering coupons worth more than that?
(Speaking of the “deal,” full props to AT&T Mobility for having the audacity to attempt an acquisition that –from talking with smart people during CTIA — people thought was too big to accomplish. Sure, the deal has only just been announced and there is no indication yet as to whether those government bodies that do such things will actually approve the deal or what that deal might look like if approved, but you have to think that AT&T has enough contacts within those agencies to have some idea as to the likelihood of the deal getting approval or it would not have bothered.)
Anywhose, that deal was announced just hours before the industry was set to convene in a little-known place called Orlando, Fla., for what is typically the domestic wireless industry’s largest meet-and-greet event and from the looks of the people milling about the town also some sort of sporting event in need of cheerleaders. Perhaps some of you were even there?
Well, needless to say, that chunk of news over the weekend cast a broad shadow over the events of that get together with more than usual amount of “no-comments” cast whenever said deal was said. Oh well, small industries do tend to be quite closed off.
One company in attendance that did not seem to mind “commenting” on the acquisition news was Sprint Nextel, which to those who have very little else to do in their regular lives may have heard that they were rumored to be in talks to also “partner” with the company that is now in the process of being acquired. Though, not knowing how deep Sprint Nextel’s pockets are at this time, but somewhat knowing its history of “integrating” other companies with similar dissimilar network technologies, the chances and smartedness (that is now a word) of that actually happening now appear to have been slim to none.
So, where does this leave Sprint Nextel? Well, from those with much more insight and smarts than myself, it leave the nation’s No. 3 operator in a precarious position. Sprint Nextel had been trying to move its pricing models more upmarket toward its larger competitors in an attempt to wring some more money from the pockets of consumers and also distance itself from the “value” position of its smaller rivals. Now, with one of those major “value” providers set to go the way of the Dodo bird, word was that Sprint Nextel may have to fall back to that value position in order to maintain a growth position in the space.
While this might not be what Sprint Nextel’s management is looking at doing, I say the company take this opportunity to fully embrace that position and become the Charlie Sheen of the mobile space: Just unpredictable enough to be dangerous.

This move would require Sprint Nextel to delve deep into its management team to dig out those who were involved in its now integrated Boost Mobile and Virgin Mobile operations, both of which established their positions in the market through unconventional tactics.
Sprint Nextel needs to go old-school punk rock with these plans. Take its message to the people instead of talking at the people. If the market is demanding a move from voice communications to text and data, fully embrace it with price points and devices that foster those activities. Get people talking about how awesome Sprint Nextel is for the future of mobility instead of catering to the stodgy habits of previous generations.

Of course, in saying all of this I am asking that Sprint Nextel ignore customers like myself and go after those who can’t seem to take their eyes or fingers off of their mobile devices for long enough to acknowledge the real world around them, but that has to be the price of progress for Sprint Nextel. The launch of a 3-D device at the show is a good, though unintended, step in that direction, but needs to be just the first of many more radical “zags” counter to the regular “zigs.”
Sprint Nextel CEO Dan Hesse sort of took the lead on this in not only providing a couple of memorable “zingers” at the CEO roundtable during the Day 1 keynote, but then showed up later at a Sprint Nextel event sporting jeans. That’s the direction Sprint Nextel needs to take, but it needs to take it to the extreme. Maybe next time Hesse shows up in hot pants. (Potential video of this intentionally left out for everyone’s sake.)
I know Sprint Nextel has its hands full with its whole Network Vision plans to basically replace the current equipment at every single cell site as well as hammering out a conclusion to the ongoing pricing issues with 4G partner Clearwire, but in the meantime its consumer-facing efforts need to be focused on putting a bit of crazy in its actions, which over time needs to expand to a whole lot of crazy.
And as we know, there is nothing that garners more attention than a whole lot of crazy.
OK, enough of that.
Thanks for checking out this week’s Worst of the Week column. And now for some extras:
–Well done wireless industry on keeping me completely perplexed on your ability to handle large crowds in small, confined areas. I had on my person several mobile devices during the CTIA event in Orlando that managed to both surprise and infuriate me all at the same time. The ability to maintain a signal long enough to complete a phone call or data session managed to vary so greatly
at the most random times that it almost became a game.
Not sure how they do it, but they managed to make the game of “Find A Consistent Signal” more fun than my usual trade show favorite “What Does That Scantily Clad Woman Have To Do With That Company?”
I welcome your comments. Please send me an e-mail at [email protected].

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