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D.C. NOTES: Splitsville

Time was when Bill Gates was the quintessential symbol of American capitalism. The undisputed icon of the Digital Age. But now, with the Justice Department, 19 states and a tough federal judge wanting to break up Microsoft Corp., Gates’ star is fading. Why, according to some, this rich geek is simply a modern-day robber baron.

“This is the thanks I get?” Gates must be asking himself about now. And you can see his point. Why government antitrust lawyers would go after Microsoft just for monopolizing computer operating systems and driving would-be competitors from the face of the earth is beyond me. And has everyone forgotten about Gates’ philanthropy during the Microsoft trial? Life has dealt this multibillionaire one bad hand. No doubt about it.

So then, who will fill the void left by the Great One? Who will be the next poster child of the digital universe?

Try Fidel Castro.

Did you catch that great photo of Castro yakking away on a cell phone at the May Day rally in Havana’s Revolution Square last week. Very hip, Fidel, very L.A.

Look for Fidel to replace Gates as keynote speaker at Wireless 2001 in Las Vegas next March.

“It’s Juan Miguel,” Castro yelled to the crowd, phone pressed against his head. “He says, `Congratulations. Many Thanks.’ ” By not using a hands-free headset, one might surmise that Castro has decided that cell phones are safe-another reason he’s bound to be a hit with the cellular industry.

Juan Miguel and son, Elian, meanwhile, are laying low on Maryland’s eastern shore. It’s not Cuba, but Maryland has its points.

So there was Castro, Communism’s aging patron saint, holding in his hand this most powerful symbol of American capitalism-a mobile phone-and proclaiming victory over expatriates in Little Havana. Who’s revolutionizing whom here?

By the way, just how many base stations are there in Havana? I thought the U.S. banned trade with Cuba. Is some wireless firm out there pulling a fast one on Hawkeye Albright at the State Department? Or are our competitors doing wireless business with Castro?

Some Republicans believe Clinton cut a deal of his own with Castro by agreeing to send Elian back to Cuba.

Another thing, why is it that cell phones don’t work for firefighters in Washington, D.C., but work for Castro in Cuba? The answer, I understand, has nothing to do with siting mobile-phone towers in Rock Creek Park.

All I know is, Gregory Craig, a former Clinton scandal attorney and now legal adviser to Juan Miguel Gonzalez, has deftly laid the foundation for the opening of a sunny, new market off the coast of Florida. Big Wireless is lighting up a victory cigar.

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