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Worst of the Week: T-Mobile US, Verizon, AT&T pad WOTW with misdirection

Hello! And welcome to our Friday column, Worst of the Week. There’s a lot of nutty stuff that goes on in this industry, so this column is a chance for us at RCRWireless.com to rant and rave about whatever rubs us the wrong way. We hope you enjoy it!

And without further ado:

Some may have noticed a lack of Worst of the Weeks over the past several weeks, perhaps thinking that there was indeed nothing “worst” happening in each of those weeks.

Well, that is half right. You see, there is always “worst” things happening in the world of telecom, it was just that this scribe tasked with noting those “worst” events was zigzagging to and fro and unable to find time to jot down those transgressions.

More importantly, this scribe was waiting for T-Mobile US CEO John Legere – this column’s current man crush object – to do something outlandish in which to then pontificate on that outlandishness. Well, as luck would have it, Legere did just that late last week in a video blog post that is worth another look:

Oh wait, sorry. Wrong one. Here it is:

Good stuff. Regardless of how accurate or how much information Legere has either spun or left out, this is still good stuff. Great video quality, and it almost looks like he isn’t reading a script. (I should probably take some notes.)

This is not new territory for Legere, who for months and years has been going to the well in his plot to link AT&T and Verizon Wireless to all that ills the United States.

And, it must be noted that Legere’s attempts have borne fruit in both T-Mobile US’ performance as well as in getting legislatures to make decisions that would seem to limit the power of the big two.

However, some might say that this topic in particular is a bit of a stretch if T-Mobile US is attempting to garner attention from the general public. Government spectrum auction? Low-band spectrum? Spectrum?

Are these really things people want to add to their already full plate of issues they are dealing with on a daily basis?

Now, if Legere was talking about something exciting like a crystal ball that allows him to see into the future, anything about Google or making fun of AT&T, then we would be on to something.

But spectrum auctions? I doubt the kids are going to grab the pitchfork (app) for that.

While I am guessing this topic is a bit outside the range of the general public Legere is looking to appeal to, it was obviously right in the wheelhouse of the two entities Legere took liberties with in naming.

Verizon went parental on Legere, bringing in the “watch the language” threat we all still react to, as well as bringing Legere’s Catholic school upbringing into the argument. I mean, get a load of this gem from Verizon:

“Beyond the fact that the administrators of his alma mater St. Bernard’s Central Catholic School, the Sisters of the Presentation of the Blessed Virgin Mary, would probably rap his hand with a ruler for that kind of language, Mr. Legere is simply wrong.”

Let’s forget about the “simply wrong” part, which should really be the point of the argument, and give Verizon some credit for naming names. Well done Verizon.

AT&T was a bit more reserved in bringing back childhood memories, but more to the point in using “facts” to claim parts of Legere’s tirade were incorrect. Normally I am not a huge fan of facts in this column, especially when they are backed by numbers, but from what I have been told, facts do tend to make for a better case than rumors.

AT&T also brought up history in noting that T-Mobile US was notably absent from the last sub-1 GHz spectrum auction (700 MHz auction in 2008), though those proceedings were run under a different management team, though at a time when T-Mobile US’ Deutsche Telekom overlords actually seemed happy with its U.S. operations.

However, it must be said that AT&T did focus mostly on the impact Legere’s argument would have on rural markets even though Legere never once mentioned rural markets in his arguments. I do believe that’s called the “Chewbacca defense.”

I must admit that all of this misdirection has taken away from the real arguments being presented on this topic, but then again that’s what makes it prime for WOTW status.

With the Federal Communications Commission expected to release full 600 MHz spectrum auction rules in the coming weeks I can only hope for the sake of this column that the hyperbole and misdirection continues to grow.

Thanks for checking out this week’s Worst of the Week column. Here is a quick, but satisfying extra:

A few weeks back I received a press release from MTN Communications that my brain has only recently been able to comprehend.

The information stated that MTN had just launched its “MTN UltraBurst” service for “yachts” ahead of the “2015 Mediterranean season.” This service apparently provides a satellite-based broadband service to those lucky few with enough disposable income to waste some of it on a yacht.

While I am sure the technology behind all of this is state-of-the-art, it took me some time to go over the whole “yacht” thing in my head, as to me a yacht would be pretty far down on the list of things to blow my money on, including a helicopter, a jet pack and a rocket ship. Thus, my head starting swimming with visions of which one of those I would take to get to my yacht. (Answer: all three.)

Once over that dilemma, I had to wrestle with the notion that there was something actually known as the “2015 Mediterranean season.”

All I could figure is that this “event” is somewhat related to the prestigious “Catalina Wine Mixer,” which, as we all know, is a pretty big deal.


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