Editor’s Note: RCR Wireless News has made many questionable decisions over the years. One of which is agreeing to let a long-time industry observer provide commentary on what is chapping his hide across the wireless industry. His name is Hunter Gates. We call him the Mobile Martyr. We also attempt to make this column suitable for most to read, but despite our best efforts, it still received a “PG-13” rating. You have been warned.
I’m getting really tired of Siri. Maybe I’m way behind the eight ball on this one, but she really twists my melon. Frankly, she’s a useless sack of code that does nothing but disappoint. A couple of examples, and let’s start with an easy one.
Q: “Siri, how many steps have I taken today?”
A: “That’s an interesting question Hunter?”
Really, an Interesting Question? I beg to differ you useless waste of time. The new iPhones count my steps. Right there. On the main screen. So how hard, dear Siri, is it to tell me the steps? Perhaps, one could argue, I shouldn’t be so damn lazy. If I’m so interested in my steps then surely it’s not too hard to reach down and look at the screen myself … a fair point. So let’s try a better one:
Q: “Siri, read messages sent by John today.”
A: “I’m sorry, there are no new messages from John today.”
Did I ask about New Messages? Hell no … I wanted a recap of all of them. And it’s a valid example, following on from last week’s discussion regarding connected cars. I was trying to perform this meaningless act while hurtling down a throughway. Siri almost caused an accident as she pissed me off so badly with her complete failure to help in any possible way.
I suspect Cortana is better, if only because pre-Cortana Windows phones were already more helpful than Siri in the car: when a message came in, my perky little Nokia used to willingly offer to read the message without me asking. Of course it did: with few other apps going for it, the Nokia was always quick to offer up the one thing it did do well. It wasn’t enough; the Nokia sits in the drawer of doom now, where all old phones go to rot in my house.
And if I could rip Siri out of the phone, she’d be right there in the drawer too. Which I find slightly amusing as Siri is still seen as The Feature to Beat in the iPhone. Ads for Windows phones focus on a Cortana versus Siri smack-down, for example, but that doesn’t meant that Cortana is good enough – just better than the low bar that we all believe you have to beat. Sad.
But worse than sad, we really do need smarter voice interaction with devices. I really was trying to listen to messages while driving down the road. Perhaps I shouldn’t have been, but it was hands-free and should have worked out just fine. A connected car of any shape or style without very clever voice recognition is a waste of space. So too will we need better voice control for wearables moving forward. Small screens – or even devices with no screens – means that we need alternative forms of interaction. Voice is the obvious solution and Siri is just not going to cut it, even if the questions I ask are deemed to be “interesting.”
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