Editor’s Note: RCR Wireless News has made many questionable decisions over the years. One of which is agreeing to let a long-time industry observer provide commentary on what is chapping his hide across the wireless industry. His name is Hunter Gates. We call him the Mobile Martyr.
Driving down one of the multitude of thruways last week, I came up behind a slow-moving car with a bumper sticker boasting: “This car climbed Mt. Washington.” Really? I don’t think so. The von Trapps climbed a goddamn mountain or two in their flight from the Nazis — using ropes, pitons and a bagful of harmonious songs to escape from pure evil. This car clearly just drove up a road that had been laid down for the express purpose of allowing little tin boxes on wheels to get to the top. Way to go. So you didn’t climb to the top, or even walk. You drove, and in the process contributed to mankind’s bizarre desire to cover up as much of Mother Nature’s land as we can. Do we really need a road up a mountain? How about a bumper sticker boasting, “I helped to asphalt America” instead? What kind of achievement is that?
Maybe car manufacturers sponsor the stickers? More of a “can you believe that this shitty car could actually make it all the way up that mountain? Damn, not as crap-ass as a car as you would think huh. Buy one … please.”
And I’m guessing that the driver probably doesn’t have kids of a school age, because otherwise they would have a “My child is an honor student” sticker for some school where pretty much every last kid is a winner and an honor student. Yeah, see how that works out when it’s time to enter the workforce kids. Good luck actually finding a job where no one is a winner and honor is a long-forgotten part of the daily grind. Such is life.
But whoops, I digress. I’m not here to discuss the merits of the educational system, or even the ability of the odd American car to make it up a hill. So let’s go back to the moment when I came up behind the car, which was cruising at around 50 mph in the middle lane of the thruway. The car may be able to “climb” a mountain, but it couldn’t push beyond 50 mph? A little unfair to blame the car for that: the driver was too engrossed in a phone call to be aware of his surroundings.
This is something that I really struggle with. Walking, talking and chewing gum are all part of the “American Way,” but put someone behind the wheel of a car and the dumb bastard slows down as soon as the phone rings. I once saw a driver and his passenger having sexual relations while driving down a freeway: he drove straight and he drove fast. I kid you not, his driving was perfect and gave nothing away of what went on inside. I applauded, not for the action inside the car, but for how seriously he still took his driving. That, my friends, is true driving focus.
So why the phone? And to be clear, we don’t even need to be holding the phone to screw up: hands-free calling still causes some people to veer across the road like drunken loons. Perhaps it’s the length of the call. The longer the call, the more it takes over our focus. Perhaps we forget where we are; that we’re in control of a ton or so of heavy metal that can do some serious damage when we screw up. What we need instead is something that allows us to communicate in smaller bursts – snippets of communication, rather than long conversations.
No, obviously not texting; that would be bad. But let’s look back at truckers of lore. They all used CB radios and seemed to manage quite well to make it from point A to point B. And it all seemed pretty darn cool too: a whole generation of kids fantasized about getting their own CB handle and joining a convoy. When CB radio grew up, one version of it morphed into Nextel’s Push To Talk, which was perfect. Obnoxious yes, with its dumb little “beep beep,” but perfect all the same for quick chats, particularly while hurtling down a thruway.
Take, for example, a recent road trip I participated in: there were four cars, but only one person really knew where the hell we were going. The rest of us had to keep up or fail to get to the watering hole of our dreams. PTT would have been perfect — we all needed to be in touch, but just for quick notes (“Take the next left … yes this left” kind of thing). By the time you make the phone call, the left turn is passed and we’re all working out what to do next, which is not good when you are running on a deadline. Time is drink, as they say. So, we resorted to walkie-goddamn-talkies. Yes, a gazillion years after mobile phones entered the consumer conscious, we still needed radios to keep in contact. That’s screwed up. But it was a hell of a lot safer — and more efficient — than multiple cellphone conversations.
And there’s a bit of an irony here. Sprint is a leading advocate of safe driving. If they hadn’t ripped the guts out of Nextel — leaving little more than a rotting carcass — we’d still all be using the PTT service and be a damn sight safer on the road. Thanks Sprint: Where you at?
Hunter is a long time follower of the mobile market. He would love to see the connected car include CB radio technology as a retro step. That would be cool … perhaps. He hasn’t come up with a cool CB handle though, but in all likelihood will never need one. He has been called many names over the years that could work though. Feel free to contact Hunter at [email protected].
Photo copyright: sopotniccy / 123RF Stock Photo
