I’ve never been an Apple fan. But I only recently became an Apple non-fan, after a series of visits to the fruit firm’s retail outlets left me more than a little cold.
The first incident regarded an incompetent sales rep unable to answer a basic question about different processors inside the Mac Book models I had decided to go and check out. After a few more probing questions, I realized he knew almost nothing about computers at all, and I walked out, disappointed. That case is not the cause of my current frustration, however.
For the sake of full disclosure, I own an iPod and have done since they came out, way back when. I’ve always liked it a lot, and so when my four year old Classic started to die, I decided it would be high time to buy a new one. Only thing I wanted to ensure was that I could easily transfer my music from my old device to my new device. Should be simple, right? Apple should make it easy for me to take MY files from my old iPod and transfer them to a new iPod, either at home or in the store. Nope. That’s not how it works at Apple.
After a frustrating 10 minutes on the phone to what sounded like a robot, it became clear that the only way I was going to be able to move my music to a new device would be to buy an illegal program online to rip the contents, unencrypt it and sync it to my computer. Why? Because for some bizarre holier-than-thou reason, Apple believes that helping customers move their music from an old machine to a new one would infringe copyright. So, the firm is quite happy for you to shell out $400 on new iKit, but if you want to transfer your music over, you must be a criminal. How ever so charming.
I was already annoyed and decided I might not even buy a new iPod anyway. After all, no other mp3 player encrypts YOUR music and then denies you access to it afterwards. I could just stick my playlists on an SD card, or MicroSD card and play it on my phone, cut a device out of my life and lighten my digital load. But then I got an email from a friend in Europe asking me if I wouldn’t mind bringing him over an iPad from the US because it was a full $200 cheaper. $200 cheaper!
I agreed to get him one, took a deep breath and headed for my local Apple store, filled with smug sneaker wearing punters worshipping the seemingly sacred objects attached to the white tables in front of them. It always gives me the creeps.
There’s another thing that really peeves me about Apple stores. You can’t simply go in and find what you want on a shelf, pick it up and take it to the check-out. Oh no. You have to stand in a line and sign up before they’ll even answer any of your questions, never mind get you any products you might need, as if you’re an invalid incapable of getting anything yourself. My friend Brian has actually written a really good review of Apple store frustration on Yelp, and I agree with every word of it. The whole process is ridiculous.
So I queued for 15 minutes, got to the front and asked the guy for a Black iPad 2 64GB Wi-Fi only. They were out of stock.
“Ok, how about a 32GB version? “
“-out of stock.”
“16GB version?”
“ – out of stock.”
“In white AND black?”
“ – yep, out of stock.”
“Will they be in stock anywhere else in the area?”
“– I don’t know, you can always try.”
“ What? Can’t you tell me? Or make some calls?”
“Sorry, no.”
“Sorry, no?!”
“You could always come back here tomorrow morning at about 7.30 and line up outside until we open. Sometimes we get a few in early in the morning, so if you’re lucky, you might get one.”
“If I’m lucky, huh?”
I somehow restrained myself from throwing a punch at his smug little face while simultaneously vomiting on his shoes before storming out. I tried my “luck” at Best Buy, Frys, and any other authorized reseller I could find. All out of stock.
“Apple kind of does that on purpose, to keep the demand and hype really high” a Best Buy employee confided in me in hushed tones.
“Why the BLEEP would they do that?” I retorted angrily.
“Because it makes the iPad seem so much cooler than it is?” he replied, shrugging his shoulders. “It looks really good for them to have people queuing up around the corner for it so early in the morning, and then, some of them come back every day and try to buy one so they can sell it on eBay for a big mark-up,” he told me.
Who the heck does Apple think it is? Whatever happened to customer service? To the customer being king? In Apple’s world, the tables are turned and the masses are turned into groveling minions hoping for some crumbs from Cupertino’s lofty table. Does the firm seriously expect people to believe it didn’t anticipate the demand it would have? That it didn’t take the right measures to ensure a good stock of iPad2s? That’s bull. Apple simply enjoys lording it over consumers it considers pathetic enough to take what they’re given, queue up at the crack of dawn and pay through the nose for what’s in stock.
Well, not me Apple. I have advised my friend to get a Xoom instead.
