Hello!
And welcome to our Thursday column, Worst of the Week. There’s a lot of nutty stuff that goes on in this industry, so this column is a chance for us at RCR Wireless News to rant and rave about whatever rubs us the wrong way. We hope you enjoy it!
And without further ado:
So a new report from Informa Telecoms & Media says that operators must make it easier for users to discover and download games if the mobile gaming market is going to move from niche-market to mass-market status.
The market research firm said wireless games will generate $2.4 billion in revenue this year, but could grow to a $7.2 billion market by 2011 if players make it simpler for new gamers to find and purchase titles.
What great news this is for all you freaky-deeky gaming monkeys out there! I’m sure all you wireless game developers are celebrating these numbers with lavish Star Wars-themed parties and all-night rounds of Halo deathmatches. Am I right?
But really, the scary part about this news is that my wife is responsible for probably one-fourth of the overall wireless gaming market. She seriously spends about an hour a day playing games on her cell phone. Isn’t that strange?
Anyway, the real point I wanted to discuss is this idea that mobile gaming vendors need to “make it simpler” for wireless shoppers to find and download their games. I find this sort of statement as credible as the idea that WiMAX will “harness business information and personal entertainment easily and inexpensively.”
Have you ever tried to download a wireless game onto your phone? Cingular users must make the arduous trek through the “My Stuff” icon, then they must use all their strength and wit to click on the “Games & Apps” listing, and then—if they’re not completely lost by this point—they have to click on the “shop games” link. What horror!
Verizon Wireless subscribers have the even more arduous slog: They have to click on “Get It Now,” then “Get Fun and Games” and then “Get New App.” Certainly, this is the definition of “complex.” I’m surprised that anyone without an extra brain cyberneticly grafted onto their cerebral cortex can even figure that out. Seriously. Where’s Stephen Hawking when you need him?
I’m being sarcastic.
If you can’t figure out how to shop for and download a wireless game, you’re an idiot.
The same goes for photo messaging; industry observers typically blame low MMS numbers on the “complex” process of sending a picture message. What’s so freaking hard about sending an MMS? Step 1: Push the camera button. Step 2: Take a picture. Step 3: Send. If you’re not up to the task you might want to check if there’s a crayon lodged in your brain or something because that’s something my four-month-old son could figure out. And he’s four months old.
So I have two explanations for this situation: Either people are so brainless they can’t figure out how to press three buttons in a row, or people are just not that into wireless data.
Judging from the people I come into contact with on a daily basis, I’m going to guess it’s because of the first reason.
OK! Enough of that. Thanks for checking out this Worst of the Week column. Wanna check out other Worst of the Week entries? Click here for past columns. And now, some extras:
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Comverse’s founder and former CEO is on the loose. Run Kobi, run! I’m already making my “Free Kobi” T-shirts for when they catch him.
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Did you see that RCR rules all hardcore? Well, if you didn’t know: RCR rules all hardcore.
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We’ve been trying out the LG “Chocolate” phone here at the office. It is sleek, that’s for sure, but the user interface is… well… Why don’t I just quote from the hipsters over at ThinkEquity L.L.C., who wrote in a recent research note: “The user interface borders on incomprehensible. Just ending a call is about as intuitive as filing out an income tax return.” ZING! Really, ThinkEquity should be writing this column, not me.
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Did you notice I look different in my picture? That’s because I’ve aged about 15 years. Check out everyone else’s new pictures here.
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You can now sign up to attend “MobiCamp” at the upcoming CTIA I.T. Wireless show in Los Angeles. What’s MobiCamp, you ask? It’s a “spontaneous ‘un-conference’ alternative to CTIA and self-organized by participants via an online ‘wiki’ site.” Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight…. My only problem is that I can’t decide who I’m going to go as: Princess Leia or Darth Vader.
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Cingular has a new online help site: “The Wireless Guru Answers Your Questions.” It’s very… objective. My submission goes something like, “Dear Wireless Guru: Why does Verizon Wireless keep beating Cingular in net adds every quarter?—Spiteful Journalist.” I have yet to hear back.
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Did you read the column last week from my arch-nemesis Dan Meyer, “Worst of the Week: Sprint Nextel’s magic trick?” Don’t worry all you Dan Fans, he’ll be back again… at some point. He’s just a little shy because I’ve tried to kill him so many times.
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And finally, Telus in Canada is actually still selling the Motorola M800 “Bag Phone,” which I believe was first introduced during the Cretaceous Period. This proves my theory that Canada is the funniest place on Earth.
I welcome your comments. Please send me an e-mail at [email protected].
