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Worst of the Week: Yacht of fools

Hello! And welcome to our Friday column, Worst of the Week. There’s a lot of nutty stuff that goes on in this industry, so this column is a chance for us at RCRWireless.com to rant and rave about whatever rubs us the wrong way. We hope you enjoy it!

And without further ado:

Every few months, or whenever the rumor mill is running a bit thin (never!), a new report seems to surface claiming that Apple is looking to become a wireless carrier of some sort. These typically include “inside sources” or “educated guesses,” as we all know by now that Apple is not in the business of leaking plans.

As it seemed that the most recent “iPhone 5” rumors were taking a dip, news sprung this week that Apple was again looking at bypassing those pesky wireless operators and becoming a one-stop-shop for its rabid fans’ telecommunications needs. While this “news” was sourced to a single person who happened to have a webpage and microphone, just about every news outlet jumped at the chance to put the word “Apple” in their headlines. (Guilty!)

The funny thing about this ongoing rumor is that it’s one that sort of makes sense from a very high level, but quickly falls apart on closer inspection. Sure, it would make sense for Apple to go out on its own in the mobile space, thus removing the stain caused to its reputation by things it can’t control. Plus, Apple does have all the money in the world and could easily start up a wireless service with cash on hand. Or better yet, why not buy an established carrier with a shockingly low stock price (Sprint Nextel, hint, hint).

And, I doubt it would even have to dig into its own ample pockets as I would suspect there would be plenty of moneybags out there that would kill to help fund Apple’s own cellular initiative. There seems to be plenty of spectrum out there for sale, and just about every other part of those operations could be outsourced.

But, with closer inspection, why in the world would Apple want to go through all the hassle of being a wireless carrier?

Next to airlines, there is not an industry more maligned than wireless, despite the fact that there is nothing more amazing than how wireless communications works (except maybe air travel).

Apple has managed to sit on the sidelines, selling millions of mobile devices that require a carrier (sucker) to operate them, and whenever a phone call is dropped or a data connection goes awry, my guess is that 99.9% of iPhone users blame their carrier and not the device.

Apple is all about rainbows, lollipops and good feelings. Not to mention, brightly-lit stores staffed by overly helpful people with no interest in trying to sell you something you don’t need, or at least not any more than how much you already need every Apple product. That is why consumers line up to pay extra for anything with an Apple logo on it.

To risk of soiling that image with the uncertainty of wireless technology, customer service and billing issues that keep wireless carrier execs up at night – or at least their minions – would be foolhardy for Apple.

Some think that their complaints about current mobile services can be washed away simply by having Apple steering the ship.

Sure, Apple does indeed run a tight ship when it comes to generating money from the sale of hardware and software. But, trying to run a wireless operation is something that is obviously far from being done right, but still something I can’t imagine even Apple would be tempted to try.

Again, with billions of dollars burning a hole in its pockets and a cult-like following, Apple could indeed show its hubris in trying to take the leap into the carrier world, but as they say: the best way to become a millionaire is to start out a billionaire.

OK, enough of that.
Thanks for checking out this week’s Worst of the Week column. And now for some extras:

–Samsung unveiled its Galaxy S III device this week at an event in London. The device sports some impressive specification, including a quad-core processor – at least for non-LTE, non-U.S. versions. The device is expected to be Samsung’s volley against the expected launch of Apple’s latest iPhone later this year.

However, until Samsung realizes that wrapping a “halo” device in plastic will not fly in the face of whatever Apple wraps its device with, those Galaxy devices will always be viewed as a step down. I am not saying Samsung needs to invent some super-metal for its top-of-the-line device, but to wrap it in the same material that is used for those free phones on the bottom shelf of the local Walmart is not going to win over Apple devotees.

–While on the topic of the Galaxy S III, is anyone else disappointed in the name? Seems a bit pretentious, no?

Also, does all of this voice and face recognition technology starting to break down that thin line between device and friend?

–RIM had its annual BlackBerry World event this week where it announced it was still in business. Hooray!

In all seriousness, remember when this event was a “must” on the event calendar as just about anything RIM did had a major impact on the mobile space? You may need to go back a few years in that memory bank, but it’s in there.

This was during the time when RIM didn’t even blink when it needed to fork over $612.5 million to a patent troll in order to keep its e-mail service humming along and when a new BlackBerry color was seen as big news?

–Speaking of rich people, yet another reason I wish I was part of that club.

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